Valentine’s Day Can Be a Bear!


Valentine’s Day memories go way back for most of us.

Does anyone remember those packages of flimsy cardboard Valentines that we bought at Walgreens, making sure we had enough for everybody in our classroom? It was such fun cutting with our blunt end scissors, making those heart-shaped pockets that would hold all the “love” and glitter from the Valentines that the other kids would surely give us.  Did you ever come to school before the BIG DAY and peek into your pocket to see how many were in there? 


This day, touted as the “day of love”, is loaded for most of us, both men and women. It is an “either/or” kind of holiday, a holiday of anticipating and waiting to see if and how much you are loved, and when we are not in a relationship, Hallmark tells us that we are NOT loved…at least this year.


No matter how many ways my brain tells me that this is all a manufactured holiday and that real love is not buried in chocolate or expensive dinners, my heart still aches every single year I find myself “alone” on Valentine’s Day. It is in my bones, this message about February 14 and I am angry about that.


What do I recommend to all my readers as a way of coping with this holiday? Find a good friend who loves you even without your make-up, with dirty hair and in your ratty pajamas. If you are a man, celebrate not having to figure women out on this holiday! But, make a plan! Avoid restaurants at all costs and if you enjoy wine, buy yourself a nice bottle and enjoy every drop. No conversation is off-limits, but be sure they contain words of love, acceptance and joy for all the love that IS in your life EVERY YEAR.


Don’t fight the feelings around this holiday. Give advertising and marketing its due for being the King of Brainwashing. And remember, soon it will be over for another 365 days! The holiday, not love!


Are you a hopeful romantic, tired of watching those sunsets alone and ready to do the work to find YOUR VALENTINE? You can do it, and I will show you how? 

You’re only 90 Days to let’s talk about beginning that journey NOW!


Donna Bailey, MS
Donna’s Big Red Chair


Big Red Chair


  1. Linda Hawes Clever, MD on February 11, 2019 at 7:07 am

    I dunno, Donna. Valentines Day can be hard, alright. I don’t want to go through third grade again, counting and comparing little cards. (Most schools now, require equity.)There are all kinds of love, such as lovingkindness, however. I think that one can always Practice Love, as in lovingkindness, and reap the benefits.

    Also, if a person customarily has dirty hair and ratty pajamas, s/he might want to get evaluated for depression. Dirty and ratty make a sad statement that spreads and labels one to oneself as well as others.

  2. admin on February 11, 2019 at 7:57 am

    Hi Linda,

    Thank you for your levity and humor around this holiday. My wish for us all is that we can recall how wonderful we are and so loved by others in our lives.

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