Love and War

Yesterday morning I was off to a new writers’ group, voices in tow telling me to turn my car around to save my dignity. I was determined because in my new town, I’m doing my own version of Hansel and Gretel, following breadcrumbs from one helpful person to the other. A woman I met at church said, “You’d love this group”. When you’re new to town, you gotta trust others and of course find your  “Holy Trinity”…hair stylist, mechanic and your go-to coffee shop first!



After honking my horn quite unnecessarily at a gentleman in the library parking lot who I thought was about to hit my car, and seeing his yellow legal pad, I met my first new “friend” who was headed for the group  too. Despite my rude horn honk he graciously showed me the way while I apologized for being “from away” where the horn was like one of the basic food groups.


A room full of writers. Who could ask for anything more? Men and women in equal numbers, curious, bright and passionate sat together poised to hear three men who’d authored books on Vietnam. 


He was a helicopter pilot at the tail end of the war, knowing by now that none of the fighting  really mattered. His wife sat beside him as the details of his life there unfolded. Life in the “hooch” they called “The Morgue”, “Grunts” swinging by cables from Dan’s helicopter lifting them to safety, while bullets whizzed by. My gut clenched remembering the early mornings my young husband would roll off our bed and within seconds, be underneath it.


The men told their stories and the women sat silently. Dan’s wife glanced at me,  knowing somehow we had our own war stories. I too was the wife of a man, a boy really, as they all were, who went off to war and whose life was never the same. War always leaves a wake behind that goes on forever not only for the soldiers, but for those back home and children yet to be born. Love and intimacy are the casualties most times.


The fabric of our love relationships are created by many things. Parents, economics, mentors and the heroes who come to tell us how beautiful we are and war’s pock marks that heal only with time and love. Love is never a straight line, rarely simple or easy for any of us. And yet, the human spirit knows it’s worth whatever it takes to find it.


Are you ready to find the joy of love again? It’s worth all the effort it takes to feel the joy that love brings into your life.

Our first 30-minute session is complimentary so give me a call at 510-817-4242 and I’ll get you on the road to love!

Donna Bailey, MS

Coach, Speaker, Writer and Expert in Dating and Relationships for Grown-ups

Donna’s Big RED Chair


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