What’s life without dreams? Not the kind we have at night, but the ones we have when we’re sitting by a river or watching a movie about India and know we need to go there “one day”.
Some of us have carried our dreams like a suitcase all our lives while others realize late in life, gazing into our bucket where the list is kept, that life is short and the list, long. One of those dreams might be finding someone to love again or for the fortunate, having found someone so special, they think they might have to give up their dreams to make it work.
In my practice I often see people who don’t open their hearts to love because they think it will mean giving things up. Their belief is that she or he won’t want to (fill in the blanks)…sail on the weekends, travel to Australia, RV across the country. They go it alone because it’s the only choice they feel they have. And then there are those who have been living their dreams, who are vibrant and want more of what life has to offer. They fall in love and whether a partner asks it of them or not, they feel the dream must be relegated to the dust bin so they can “focus on the relationship now”. They sacrifice out of what they see as love, and a little part of them begins to wither.
Dreams, even the musty ones we’ve carried in that suitcase, are the language of the soul. They are a North star to the essence of who we are, what matters, our juice of life. Do you know what both men and women find most attractive about a partner, or even a date? Vibrancy. Aliveness. Curiosity. DREAMS! People who live their lives, act on their dreams or have an intention to fulfill them bring life and excitement to their relationships. But there’s a hitch…when we meet each other or are getting to know each other it’s essential to talk with each other about those dreams. If we’re already living them as writers, musicians, volunteers, artists, change agents, politicians;etc. we want to be sure that our partners know these things are who we are and that they will support us in growing our dreams as life goes on.
You don’t have to stop living the life of your dreams to be in love with another. In fact, we all need someone to share our lives and bring with them dreams of their own. Added to ours, they make for a really juicy life!
Are you a hopeless romantic who’s tired of watching sunsets alone? Ready to do whatever it takes to find someone to share this next amazing chapter of your life? I can show you how to navigate the waters and find that dream.
Donna Bailey, MS
Donna’s Big RED Chair
Dating and Relationship Coaching for Grown-ups