I Struggled to Find the Words


I’ve not met one person for whom this year has not been one of real struggle…myself included. Health issues, housing issues, loss of someone we loved, have made it hard to get up in the morning. Some folks I haven’t met but keep in my heart are those who lost their homes to fires in my home state of California, and many who still lack power and sleep 30 to a home after hurricanes destroyed their homes on the island territories.  So my friends, the only comfort we might find is in knowing we are not alone, that the good was, much like Dorothy’s Kansas…right there alongside the struggles.


I haven’t posted lately because I wanted to find words to uplift and inspire you. Then, as always, the words came to lift my heart and give rest to my soul. May they carry you too. Single or married, happily alone or thinking about opening your heart yet again to loving someone, these words of wisdom are a foundation for a new year filled with hope and possibilities.


After a while you learn the subtle difference

Between holding a hand

And chaining a soul.

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning

And company doesn’t mean security.

And you begin to learn

That kisses aren’t compromises

And presents aren’t promises.

And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes ahead

With the grace of a woman or a man

Not the grief of a child.

And you learn to build all your loads on today

Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans

And futures have a way of falling down in midflight.

After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if

you ask too much.

So you plant your own garden

And decorate your own soul

Instead of waiting for someone to buy you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure

That you really are strong

And you really do have worth.

And you learn. And you learn.

With every failure you learn.


Happy New Year to You!

Are you thinking about finding love again but afraid of getting hurt or disappointed? Maybe you aren’t sure there’s anyone out there for you, but you’re tired of watching sunsets alone. I’d be happy to talk with you about how to find that special someone with whom to share this next amazing chapter of your life in the new year ahead.
Give me a call at 510-817-4242 or email me at donna@donnasbigredchair.love
Donna Bailey, MS
Coach, Speaker, Writer and Expert in Dating and Relationships for Grown-ups
Donna’s Big RED Chair






  1. Joyce on December 30, 2017 at 8:26 am

    Donna, this is a meaningful and wonderful “anonymous “ quote. You found a very special one.
    Thank you. It cones at a good time for me.
    I hope Christmas was uplifting and that you will welcome in the New Year.
    I will check my email later in the weekend, but I plan to stay away from it for most of the day. I have a new year’s resolution to spend most of my time on things that lift and “excite” or engage me. That is a choice I have and not exercise enough. Hugs and kisses, J

  2. admin on December 30, 2017 at 8:40 am


    That sounds like a wonderful resolution. We sure do spend a lot of time doing things that are beyond uplifting. Small things like leaving our phones at home when we walk can make such a difference in mood.

    Here’s to a big year of uplift for us all!!

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