“He’s a good man.” How often have you heard someone say that?
Often, we hear only about the men that did a woman wrong, or worse, the Harvey Weinsteins of the world. I rarely hear much about good men either in my personal or professional world. Of course, you might say that I wouldn’t because helping people find their next love will naturally bring the need to talk about the hurts and heartaches that often make it difficult to trust again.
It seems that “old people” I used to know did use the phrase more often back in the day when they talked about their husbands. Did it mean those men were perfect or maybe even very nice to them? Could it have been women of the times asked for very little from men other than that they be good providers? Perhaps. I remember telling my Mother I was separated from my husband and with a look of surprise and a heavy dose of the critic she said, “Why? He’s a perfectly nice man and he treats you OK.”
Now that I’m getting older by the day, I find myself less and less interested in bells and whistles of all kinds. I want more peace and quiet, a simpler life than a big city offers, and I want a really good man to cuddle up with at night. So, looking for a way to describe what exactly that means…a really good man...I asked my friend who’s a decade older what it meant when Jane Fonda described Robert Redford’s character in the new movie, “Our Souls at Night” using just those words. Thinking for a minute, she came up with two men we both knew well. I immediately thought about their politics, very different from mine. Then a light came on and I felt a softening in my heart. “Oh, but the politics aren’t the issue. They are really good men.” Redford’s character met the qualifications and when I saw this movie, I felt the sweetness a woman feels when she is around one of those men.
What do you think makes a guy a “really good man”? I’d love to hear your comments, so leave them for me and others in the comments section below so we can all read and ponder together. It will help all of us learn more, be curious and maybe be better at paying attention to what matters in our relationships.
I really encourage you to see this Netflix-produced movie or read this beautifully written book, Our Souls at Night if you’re having trouble describing it for yourself. Then see if you agree with me.
Are you tired of watching sunsets alone and ready to find a really good man or woman with whom to share this next amazing chapter of your life? They’re out there and if you’re ready, I can be your guide to finding love again.
Email me or call me at 510-817-4242 for a Complimentary Session with me to find out if you’re ready for the journey!
Donna Bailey, MS
Coach, Speaker, Writer and Expert in Dating and Relationships for Grown-ups
Donna’s Big RED Chair