I’m Under Doctor’s Orders




I charted it up to stress. God knows, when we’re in big transitions in our lives, it’s unavoidable. And for me, “follow your gut” is more than a phrase. I’ve been following it to one small room for several months now, and when I was about to walk, unannounced into my doctor’s office ready to say, “Do ANYTHING!”, that gut did take me to the diagnosis. I’ve got that bacteria that causes ulcers and getting rid of it is like pulling up a 300-year old redwood tree by the roots. So, off to the pharmacy to pick up the dreaded drugs, a nuclear bomb of a combination that “sometimes” kills the bacteria, if if doesn’t kill me first.


The brown paper bag from the pharmacy was not only full of pills, but sheet after sheet of instructions, warnings short of skulls and crossbones, and of course Common Side Effects. Being the neurotic I am, I began scouring each page, becoming more anxious as I flipped them over to see yet more reasons NOT to take these drugs! And then I saw it. The statement that brought me back to my senses and gave me the perspective I needed to open that adult-proof cap:


“Remember that your doctor has prescribed this medication because he or she has judged that the benefit to you is greater than the risk of side effects.” 


Right out loud, I said, smiling…”kind of like trying to find someone to love”. Dating is hard. It’s just hard. We hang out in the wind all the time. If we’re online, it’s like another thing on the Drug info sheets:


This is a summary and does NOT have all the possible information about this product. This information does not assure that this product is safe, effective, or appropriate for you.” 


What can we possibly know about someone not only when we see their profile online, but honestly, even when we meet them for coffee or “more naturally” at an event? There are no assurances that who they appear to be actually is who they truly are. And, I’m sure we often don’t give each other a chance to get past the jitters, and show each other our best stuff. Only time will reveal more information and give us what we need to make a decision to stay or leave this one behind (again?).   But here’s the deal via the Drug Information Sheet:


“Continue to take this medication until the full prescribed amount is finished…stopping too early may mean you do not get the desired results.” 


At the advice of my Dr. and the wisdom of my gut, I’m taking a break from dating until I heal what’s ailing me. If you find yourself not enjoying the experience at least some of the time, maybe you’re thinking thoughts like, “All women are_______”, or “Everybody out there is damaged goods”, or you’re still thinking and dreaming about the one that broke your heart, it may be time to take a break, put your feet up and do a bit of healing yourself. Then, after you’ve binged on Netflix long enough, pick yourself back up and begin again.

Those Drug Information sheets must know what they’re talking about, right?

If you’re tired of being alone and looking for someone fabulous to share this chapter of your amazing life, I can show you how to stay out of the weeds of discouragement, keep that hopeless romantic in YOU alive while you find them.

Call me at 510-817-4242 for a Complimentary Intake Session to talk about how we might work together to help you find love before another holiday season arrives! 

Donna Bailey, MS

 Coach, Speaker and Writer and Expert in Dating and Relationships for Grown-ups

Donna’s Big RED Chair

510-817-4242   donna@donnasbigredchair.love






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