As you know, I’m back out in the world of dating again and like I say all the time, “it’s a numbers game”. Online dating truly does offer the numbers and in those numbers are some “keepers” and some cow patties. You have to step right into some of those on the yellow brick road to what you hope will be a fabulous horse of a different color this time.
We all know about Red Flags…the ones that slap us right in the face the moment we see them. For some, it’s “Never been married” and others, under Income: “I’d rather not say”. But what about Pink Flags? What are they, you might ask? Pinks are the things you see when you read his profile that cause little nagging feelings in your gut…something just “isn’t quite right”. You pause and it feels so seemingly unimportant or subtle you say, “Good grief, there’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t know if he meant it that way.” And on you march, feeling more attracted by the minute, tamping down that little voice that says, “Wait a minute. Look again.”
I am a sucker for a great writer. Someone whose writing makes me feel like I just ate a chocolate eclair. Speaking of eclairs, if he says he loves to cook and adds “for you” to that, I want to pack an overnight bag right then and there. All the other pink flags just become placemats.
You see, I learn each time I put myself out here. I now know words ARE beautiful and food is an amazing aphrodisiac but they aren’t the foundation for a relationship that has good bones. They don’t tell me if he wants the same things I want in a relationship, if he is the kind of man who wants to work together when we hit the bumpy phase, and if he’s the kind of guy who will love it when I dance in the kitchen and want to crawl up on his lap when I feel afraid. I’m still learning to trust that this time, I’ll look past the glass cases filled with eclairs, and instead look for a strong, healthy, kind man who might be standing right beside me.
Are you tired of watching sunsets alone? Ready to find someone to share this next amazing chapter of your life? I can show you the way!
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Donna Bailey, MS
Coach, Speaker, Writer and Expert in Dating and Relationships for “Grown-ups”
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