A Crisis of Faith About Love? Go to a Bar!


OK, I am the last person to recommend drowning sorrow in alcohol, but on occasion, it’s just fine. And you never know what kind of love you might find there.

I found love in a bar one evening last year. And I left with a new someone that I definitely love.

A woman friend I recently met called to say, drop what you are doing and join me for a hamburger (at the local Trader Vic’s only a boardwalk away). I was just about to put some Trader Joe’s sodium soaked, high carbs on a slab into the oven, put my post-Grammie feet up and accept that this was how I was going to spend my Saturday night when I remembered what a 94 year old woman once told me. I asked her what the secret of living a long life was. She said, “Don’t sit down, keep learning, don’t turn on the TV and say ‘Yes’ to everything you feel like saying ‘No’ to.”

Arriving, I saw my friend sitting with 4 senior women and 1 man, walker parked beside him. He was our “designated driver”! I sat beside Jane, a woman from Latvia who later told me her husband was a jazz artist and revealed more than once how their great sex kept him from behaving like a touring musician. There were stories in that group that nobody would believe, except the young couple who were sitting next to us. He was French, 28 and cute as a button. She was from Michigan and they were there to watch that gorgeous sunset. And the party was about to begin.

By evening’s end, we were joined by a man from Jamaica via the state of Georgia. There was the bi-sexual couple, a May-December romance and one romantic man delivered every woman’s fantasy by declaring his love for his date to the entire restaurant. And all the while, old talked to young about lives lived, Pokemon Go,  about politics and getting out the vote. We clinked glasses “to love!” and knew we were talking about more than romantic love. People of color, seniors, lesbians, and even the waitstaff joined with us to toast the real America. We were united. We knew once again what really loving each other means. We felt the oneness and joy of connection.

I walked home with my new friend and even though I didn’t have a man to kiss goodnight now, I knew a kind of  love equally joyful. It was the perfect antidote to a week of crawling news bits that if we’re not careful will convince us that there is no love. I knew that night what Fake News really was.


Donna Bailey, MS

Coach, Speaker, Writer and Expert in Dating and Relationships for “Grown-ups”

Donna’s Big Red Chair

510-817-4242   donna@donnasbigredchair.love


A hopeless romantic? Tired of watching those sunsets alone? Want to share this next amazing chapter of your life with someone wonderful and unsure how to find them? If you’re really ready, I can show you the way.

Call or email me to schedule a Complimentary Session so you can Find Love in 90 Days!

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