A New Way of Loving

I am on the most wonderful and terrifying writer’s retreat!  Living, eating, drinking and thinking only about love can make one a bit crazy…a good kind of crazy. While I work, my posts will be snippets of what I have learned and continue to learn about love and how we can all find it and enjoy every minute of learning about ourselves and another. Here is a poem that inspired me today and I hope you’ll find something beautiful to think about on your journey of love…




To have without holding


Learning to love differently is hard,

love with the hands wide open, love

with the doors banging on their hinges,

the cupboard unlocked, the wind

roaring and whimpering in the rooms

rustling the sheets and snapping the blinds

that thwack like rubber bands

in an open palm.


It hurts to love wide open

stretching the muscles that feel

as if they are made of wet plaster,

then of blunt knives, then

of sharp knives.


It hurts to thwart the reflexes 

of grab, of clutch; to love and let

go again and again. It pesters to remember

the lover who is not in the bed,

to hold back what is owed to the work

that gutters like a candle in a cave

without air, to love consciously,

conscientiously, concretely, constructively. 


I can’t do it, you say it’s killing

me, but you thrive, you glow

on the street like a neon raspberry,

You float and sail, a helium balloon

bright bachelor’s button blue and bobbing

on the cold and hot winds of our breath,

as we make and unmake in passionate

diastole and systole the rhythm

of our unbound bonding, to have

and not to hold, to love

with minimized malice, hunger

and anger moment by moment balanced.


                                           Marge Piercy

                                           The Moon is Always Female





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