We Are All a Mess

From Huffington Post

From Huffington Post


I am having a sad day today. It could be that I’m tired, often I mistake those two feelings. So, I cry, take walks, meditate and will soon take a nap followed by my favorite ice cream from a market that will serve a woman with raccoon eyes.


Though only time will tell me the “why” of it, at the moment it feels like generalized sadness about boys and men, and of course, my not being with a sweet, loving partner at this moment. Yesterday I was talking with my lifelong friend who lives in one of those picture perfect little Maine towns. Even Norman Rockwell didn’t tell her about the struggles with aging parents, especially her father, a bright but impossible controlling angry man who she is realizing was always that way. Then, I picked up the New York Times, grabbed my cup of tea and saw an articlehttp://nyti.ms/2b7ZGdX that just brought me to my edge of sadness…and yet still left me hopeful about love and it’s possibility for all of us.


I often hear from clients and from audience members who are there to hear me give them all the answers about how to find love, “All the ones who are left, who are online…are too damaged.” Since I have also been online off and on in my life, my reaction is pretty strong. “That’s not necessarily true, you know. Maybe they aren’t all screwed up. Maybe they are the smart, healthy ones that aren’t settling and are willing to wait to find the right person for themselves.” And, on most days, I believe that with all my heart.


Today, albeit a passing mood, I believe there is some validity that we are all screwed up and I am including myself in this truth. All of us are “damaged” in some ways. Face it, our parents didn’t even know the word “parenting” as a verb. They just found themselves pregnant and learned on the job. We were the early version of a start-up and boy did we disrupt their lives.


Then, later in the day a friend sent me an amazing post http://heartsupport.com/blogs/letter-daughter-young-men/?utm_source=email&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=SocialWarfareI hope you will take the time to read both of these because you’ll see more the source of my sadness and my hope. The hope that we can understand each other as men and women, be there to help heal those wounds we all have so that we can be and find love together.


My friend in Maine told me she was sad too. She feels like a little girl at night, she says.  When I asked her if she snuggled up to that wonderful husband of almost 50 years, she said, “No. I didn’t try that. But I will now.”  See, sometimes love is right there to heal you if you simply remember.


Want to find the love of your life?

I can guide you to them so when you are really, truly ready

Call me for a Complimentary Strategy Session

510-817-4242 or email me at donna@donnasbigredchair.net

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