As my readers know, I am not much for “lists” when it comes to matters of the heart. Love and the loss of love are much too delicate and tender to be someone’s “bullet points”. This morning, I’ll make an exception because even though there never is a straight line in the realm of the heart, our brain needs something to wrap itself around when we are scared to try again, think we have to be healed and be assured that this time we won’t end up where we were the last time our hearts lay on the ground. So, my sweet friends…some thoughts to get you up off that chair and out into the world of love. Here’s how ya know…
- Are you past the acute stages of heartbreak? Are there Kleenex boxes that aren’t empty? Have you been out with friends, remembered how much you loved to read while snuggled in bed?
- Have you been sleeping better, waking up to morning with thoughts now about YOUR life?
- Even though you still think of him/her, can you see a future where you’re with someone else?
- Have you put the fly-swatter away? You know, the one you were using to beat yourself up?
- What about the declarations out loud that might sound like this:
- No More Broken Men/Women!
- I Deserve the Whole Cake, Not Crumbs!
- It’s Better to be Alone Than With Someone Who Makes Me Feel Alone!
- I Learned Something From Being With Him/Her and I’m Taking That With Me Into the Next One!
- You don’t need to go to his/her Facebook page or ask your friend how she/he is doing.
- You’ve stopped fantasizing about him/her calling you or checking your email every 5 minutes.
- You have lost interest in ruminating most all the time now.
- Randy Newman’s song, “I Just Want You to Hurt Like I Do” is not playing now.
- You have some new clothes or new sheets that don’t have any evidence of him/her on them.
- You are feeling pretty disconnected from him/her now.
- You’ve given up regrets and blame and now can see what you learned from the time spent. Maybe you can even recall the good times you had together.
You don’t have to wait until every blemish and scar have disappeared to be ready to get out there again. Remember that underneath those scars is a ton of new wisdom to bring with you into life after loss. Every ending is a beginning.
And, a new relationship with a person who is good with and for you can provide the healing and closure you need to be the happy, loving person you are and always have been.
If you want to talk about the adventure of finding new love call me for a FREE Introductory Session
Donna Bailey, MS
Life Changing Coaching
Donna’s Big Red Chair