It Takes Two and Good Dancing Shoes

couple dancing


You meet someone you really want to spend time with, someone with whom you share a love for life, the same vitality and passion. Your soul prays silently for it to work out.


So many things in common, so much joy and a deep appreciation of one another…and a dose of bad timing. He just recently ended “yet another” relationship that didn’t work. His heart is still broken from the many endings and heartbreak over a lifetime.  He wants it to be right this time, and yet is  terrified that it will end just like the others, and he just can’t stand one more heartbreak. And so it begins…


She wants to move closer to him, tell him that she adores him and can see a future full of fun and laughter. She doesn’t dare. Why? Because he has told her already that he isn’t ready for a relationship.  She hears him say it but does she believe it?


He enjoys being with a woman who laughs with him, gives him room to breathe and feels passionate and accepting of his “multitude of imperfections”. What’s not to love?


She enjoys being with a man who is strong, bright, romantic, generous, interesting and with the vitality she loves. He cooks for her, makes her feel like she is the only woman in the world. What’s not to love?


They spend more and more time with one another, share intimate conversations, become open and vulnerable and something happens. The dance begins…he pulls away, she moves closer, he steps back remembering the last time it ended badly. This is like the relationship’s version of  Texas Two-Step and it often ends with a very painful finale.


All the wishing in the world can’t save a relationship when one or both people aren’t ready to trust themselves much less someone else. Over our lifetime we experience many disappointments when relationships don’t work out. We all come to each other looking like The Velveteen Rabbit and though tattered and torn, in time if we want love, we will have to risk having those sweet hearts broken.


When you find yourself unable to get past fear or sustain closeness because you aren’t ready for what it takes to make a healthy relationship work, be kind to yourself and your “dance partner”.  Thank each other for all the joy, fun and passion you experienced and then take the journey that will help you heal.  Perhaps the next time after you’ve done the work to be able to love again, you might just  finish the dance with a kiss.


When you are ready to dance again with arms wide open, I’m here to show you the right steps leading you to love…again!

Donna Bailey, MS

Donna’s Big Red Chair

Dating and Relationships Coaching


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