The Most Important Advice I Will Ever Give You


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You always meet for lunch on Thursdays, and this week is no exception. She loves Thai and well, you’re always looking for a salad that tastes like a chocolate brownie. She knows that about you, and in fact, she knows most everything about you. She is your BFF and boy, have you been in the trenches with each other or what! She was there for that break-up that almost had you relocating to “anywhere but here”, but you stayed because of her. What would you do without her?


Today, you sip your predictable glass of Chardonnay, big smile on your face waiting to tell her all about it. Seeing her coming toward the table, you give her a big hug and then have to painstakingly wait while the waiter takes her drink order. It’s time! “I met a man. He’s amazing, sweet, smart, hot, and it seems to be mutual and I am so happy!”. A bulldozer couldn’t remove the smile you are wearing, but her…not so much. Her mouth looks like three emoticons all trying to figure out which one is the winner. Sad, puzzled, scared…but the smile is definitely missing in action. Startled, surprised, disappointed and maybe even a little irritated, you wait for her to say what you want to hear…”Wow! Congratulations! I am so happy for you. You so deserve this. You have worked so hard on yourself, been patient and selective and here he is! When can I meet him? Tell me all about it!”


Relationships with our girlfriends are the most important, lasting, trusting, vulnerable, sweet things we ever have. Of course, we love our children, partners, grandchildren, friends and colleagues, but there is nothing as precious as our BFF. When you find a man you like or come to love, the most important thing I can tell you is don’t abandon, neglect or mistreat your girlfriends because you might need them (again) and they don’t deserve to be left in a parking lot while you go off into Love Land.


Expect your girlfriends to be in shock and awe, to feel afraid they will lose you because they will lose time and attention with someone new in your life. Be prepared for their reactions and feelings and rather than feel hurt, try to feel compassion for them and for you. You’ll miss them too and both of you will need time to  re-stabilize that delicate mobile that all relationships are.


Tell her you are happy and reassure her this doesn’t mean you’ll forget about her until you need her, or lose contact, or for Heaven’s sake, not have your Thursday lunch!  Reassure her that you love her and that you need her love and support always, but even more when you meet a new man. How else can you figure it all out? Who else will you call when you think he might be a crazy guy? And who will you be sure to tell when you are going on a hiking trail in deep scary woods on that first/second date?


So Sisters, Unite! Stick together while you make room for the love of your life or the one that got away, or the one that you will learn truly is a sweet, bright, funny, tender man. Celebrate with each other and remember, if she found someone, so can you!

If you are ready to go find love, I can guide you to find someone who will put that smile on your face too.

Go to my webpage to see more about how to find the love of your life

Please post this on sites, email to friends and to your BFFs


  1. Kelly on April 6, 2016 at 5:14 am

    Big smile on my face………

  2. Christine Baumgartner on April 6, 2016 at 5:58 pm

    Such wise advice as always Donna.

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