Men often use words like complicated, complex, mysterious to describe women. And some call us high maintenance. Blame it on the moon, sun sign, hormones, too many movies if you will, but truth is, we are all those things and it can be challenging for men who love us to unravel the complexity and realize what we want and need from them.
I would argue that we are surprisingly simple creatures. The problem lies in communicating to men what makes us happy. Why is that difficult? Because women have not been socialized to ask directly for what they want. Instead, we’re trained in coy, indirect and sometimes manipulative ways of getting our needs met. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we could just tell men what we want, crave, dream about, wish for, and need to be the happy woman they too want in their lives?
Since that is still a cultural work in progress, here’s my version of How to Make Venus Happy…
- Women appreciate a sensitive man who will listen and nurture her when she needs a tissue or your hand.
- Women like it when men take a traditional masculine role, especially when you are beginning a new relationship. Yes, sensitive and masculine go together! Opening the car door, pulling out her chair at the restaurant, walking on the traffic side of the street still works and makes her feel safe and treasured.
- Get rid of the baggy jeans and get yourself to the gym. Women are visual creatures just like men. We love to see you in a beautiful shirt that matches your eyes. It’s fun as things develop to go shopping together and see just what turns her head.
- We love men who are always open to learning how to be a “better man”. Some women call that “evolved”, but all women need to know you are always open to learning and growing.
- We want you to listen, not to fix it when we talk about things that are bothering us. That’s a tough one, since men are socialized to solve problems. Save that for fixing the leaky sink and just listen and make eye contact. Turn off your phone!
- When you meet a new woman, don’t assume she is ready for sex based on the “Three Date Rule”. Every woman is different in how long it takes for them to feel safe and ready to move on.
- Let the woman lead and show her you love and respect her by not pushing the river.
- Tell her she looks nice before she has to ask you.
- Women need connection to feel safe and trust you. Phone calls instead of texts. Follow up soon after your date. Don’t play games based on Crazy Rule Number 2 “Keep Her Waiting”.
- Women are all hopeless romantics. Keep it coming from day one to year 55 and you will hear the purring you so desire.
So you see, it’s not that complicated, nor are we. We know that both men and women just want to be happy. When your woman is happy because you create a relationship based on what she needs, she will return your love and make your heart soar. It’s simple really, but both men and women have equal responsibility in creating and sustaining healthy, romantic, sizzling relationships.
If you have some additional things you’d like to add to the Happy list, please comment below. And spread the word, ladies (and men) Post this on your social media page!