I must be getting to the place in my life where Kathryn Hepburn spent most of hers. Ready to just say it.
We are all dealt blows by life. From the day we get our first shots at the pediatrician’s office, we become all too familiar with pain and no longer live in Narnia.
But, can you imagine a life lived in a world like The Truman Show?
The richness of living comes from a myriad of amazing experiences we are given and the people who bring life’s lessons and gifts to us every day…even the gifts wrapped up in pain. The problems in our lives come when we get stuck in that pain and hurt and decide (unconsciously of course) to make those feelings our best friend. Who wants to say goodbye to a best friend?
I am in the business of love and helping people find it both in themselves and in a partner. There are many reasons why finding love can be challenging including ageism, the size of the dating pool in a city, our busy schedules and a world that now has us swiping left and right to find it with nothing but a bad photo and a martini as a guide. But, the number one reason we are not happy in love, whether we have a partner or “have become single”, is fear of really opening ourselves up to it.
Our past, our wounds, our pain have given us all pause to let ourselves hang out in the breeze with our hearts open wide. There are good reasons for that and yet, for every percent of our days and lives we work to stay safe, we block love. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to just be able to trust again and go for the gusto? You can, you know. It will take someone who understands how to help you down that path. And, you are so worth it.
For now, today…this Thanksgiving week you can begin. Here’s a first step if you are ready to feel joy, not pain.
-Think of someone who hurt you and who you “carry” with you during your day.
-Remember just one thing you liked about them and if there are more, list those.
-Notice how you feel when you remember the hurt, and how you feel when you remember those “gold nuggets” about them.
Now, how do you want to feel during your day? How does it serve you to hold on to the hurt?
Harvest the learning from people and things that have hurt you in the past and find the “nuggets” that have helped shape you into the wonderful person you are today. Notice those same golden nuggets in people you will see this holiday season, even when your mind wants to have you walk right into the cow patties.