It’s All in the Attitude


woman with gift


All day today I struggled with this blog. It’s the holiday season, I am not in a relationship again this year,  and I don’t think I can stand yet another Decking of the Halls, and Over the River and Through the Woods month of Madison Avenue joy. After all, I’m not seeing many single people on those Hallmark cards. And what can I say to make it all better?


I walk every day and some miracle happens when my feet hit that pavement along the marina. Things get clear and today was no exception. I realized that like Cinderella’s step-sisters I am always trying to squeeze into somebody’s definition of what makes a holiday a holiday. Now, you know the Martha Stewart model that includes homemade gingerbread houses, tiny tots with bright shiny faces happily decorating them without as much as a smudge on their little Baby Gap sweaters. Martha, Oprah, Elle…none of them are talking about what it feels like when these holidays roll in and like a big highlighter, reminding us that they are “supposed” to be spent with someone special.


If your Mr. Right didn’t arrive this year, look at it as an opportunity! You have these holidays all to yourself and you can do whatever you want! How great is that?? It ‘s all in the attitude and how you want to view this holiday season.


Break out of the Should’s this year and redesign your holiday plans to fit you. What are some things that you have wanted to do but haven’t done yet? Think of a destination you would love to go and get yourself a ticket! Is there an event, a course, a spa weekend that would be fun and something you’ve wanted to learn, but just haven’t done it? Go, do it! Feeling like you want to stay home? Stay home, BUT make a plan. Nothing can suck you down into the abyss faster than a lack of structure. Here are some ideas for a “Holiday Staycation”:

-Giving can make us feel better than almost anything. Clean out your closets and take some things down to a local Salvation Army or shelter for battered women. Make a cake for the children in the homeless shelters and take a few wrapped presents with you.

-Call other single people you know and don’t assume they are already busy. Isolation is the fastest way to lose your perspective and to forget how fortunate you are in so many ways. Do things with other people that make you happy.

-Is there a project you’ve been putting off? Writing your memoir, making a photo album for your aging mother, refinishing that bedside stand? Get cookin’! And, yep, cooking is another great way to spend the holidays. If you are worried about your weight, give it away.

-Binge on some great TV shows. A few I love are The Newsroom, The Gilmore Girls, Breaking Bad, Parenthood, Orange is the New Black, Doc Martin, and Call the Midwife

-Alcohol can be a wonderful thing but it can also lead you down into a rabbit hole and increase your sense of isolation and loneliness. So, if you want to drink, go join others and watch the Macy’s Day Parade or a good football game.


Do more than survive the  holidays this year. Enjoy yourself by making those holidays your own. If you feel sad, feel it. Then, put those Kleenex away and if you can’t create your own list, use mine. Remember, gratitude is the key. And, don’t forget…there are worse things than being single during the holidays…being in a miserable relationship. So celebrate the choices you have, make a plan and spend the money on yourself to do what you want to do this holiday season. You are SO worth it!!

Leave a Comment