Who Knows Why?

 

crazy cleaning woman

 

My house has never been so clean. For the past three days I’ve been an organizing “fool’. Short of redoing my passwords (something I said I would do only when there was nothing left to live for), every dreaded task is done. Yes, I do windows.

 

I called a friend who has known me forever and telling her the story of the Mad Cleaner, she asked, “Are you pregnant!”?   That would explain it and I would love having an explanation.  Somehow it would make me feel better.

 

How many times have you been in a “state” like this and just allowed yourself to be? I can safely say that for me, never, and even acknowledging this makes me feel guilty.

 

What is it about us that is driven to produce, behave and feel in ways that someone, somewhere told us were the right ways? Trusting our bodies and minds to know their own way through the quagmire just doesn’t come easily for most of us because, like the scroll of a player piano, it plays over and over…”What’s Wrong With You?”

 

I don’t have an easy answer for you, but today I got a beautiful prayer from a dear friend who is struggling with incurable cancer and still hears that voice. Even if you are a non-believer, I hope you will take these words as a gift that may help you when you are in those times of inexorable crazies.

“This is another day, O Lord. I know not what it will bring forth, but make me ready, Lord, for whatever it may be. If I am to stand up, help me stand bravely. If I am to sit still, help me to sit quietly. If I am to lie low, help me to do it patiently. And if I am to do nothing, let me do it gallantly. Make these words more than words…”

From the Book of Common Prayer

 

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