Fear is Our Friend…Until It’s Not

038Very few of us will cop to fear as part of our repertoire of emotions. Not to be gender-biased here, but I think it safe to say that most men don’t even realize the word fear is in their vocabulary.

Fear is part of our lives and don’t let anybody try and take it away from you. You might want to let them “borrow” it, but make sure they bring it back because it can be a very good friend. Of course we know it keeps us from sticking our fingers in moving fans and from dating men we see online that have photos of themselves without their shirts, but it does more subtle favors for us as well.


The key to utilizing the gift of fear and keeping it on a short leash so that it doesn’t control you is to learn to respect it. When fear taps you on the shoulder or gives you whiplash when you are making a courageous move like going to an online dating site to see if there are some men with their shirts on, that’s the time to tell it to take a hike!


When you feel fear, stop for a moment or maybe longer and ask yourself if it is rational. For example, if you are going into a long-awaited job interview and feeling afraid, that is normal and can serve as a motivator to do your best preparation. If, however in preparing for the interview you begin to hear voices (not the kind you hear when you forget to take your meds) that say, “You are foolish if you think you are going to get this job.” then you know that fear is not your friend.


Hang on to your fear, use it as a blanket when you aren’t ready to dive into something…yet. Listen for your courageous voice and when you hear it, let the fear go and take one step at the time toward your goal or the dream that is just waiting for you.





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