If you can’t see it, you can’t create it. So, when we are looking for love, it is important to be able to imagine Mr./Ms. Right in all his/her perfection. Then, we begin to let go of that perfection and make some mental index cards that will guide us along the way.
Beyond getting off the sofa and into this secret blog space, the MOST important thing you will ever do is to create a realistic, personal and possible list of what I call the “negotiables” and “non-negotiables”. Because it is vital to finding someone that will make you happy (most of the time!), this list of non-negotiables should be short and well -thought- out because in this area, you aren’t going to budge. The other list might look like “I would prefer…”or “That would be nice if….”.
I have had clients, both men and women, who admit that they feel like a piece of meat at a deli counter. The reason? Because when they meet someone, or read an online profile, there is a very long “list of ingredients” they feel they MUST have in order to be “chosen”.
I can’t disagree with them because many of us haven’t proof-read our lists ever, or for a long time, and, instead of items being written in pencil, they are etched in stone. It is time to make a list, perhaps for the first time, and if the one you already have is so heavy it’s giving you shoulder pain carrying it around, start over!