How is Finding Love Like a Dental Appointment?


lips with teeth



Did you know that you can tell a lot about a person by whether they floss?? Research has shown that the number one indicator of overall health is whether they floss and care for their teeth.  Well, you can just imagine how I felt about myself having not seen a dentist in almost three years!! 

Has it ever happened to you? You know you need to do something. Perhaps get your annual mammogram or keep the oil changed every 3000 miles or have that conversation with your boss, and you don’t do it? Then, time passes and suddenly you are now ashamed to take the car in or go to see the dentist? SHAME is now in the driver’s seat and it begins….that chorus of voices inside our heads are singing their opus.

By the time I finally put on my “big girl pants” and called for an appointment, I had written a Stephen King version of what the dentist was going to find. I had dreams about my teeth falling out into my hands during dinner, excruciating root canals with my dentist’s pasty white face looking at me, shaking her head saying, “See, this is what happens when you don’t take care of your teeth.”

When we have not been in a relationship for awhile, perhaps for years, it can feel like a dental appointment we should have made but didn’t and now…it is too late. Perhaps we have written stories about being too old, not attractive enough or convinced ourselves that it just isn’t worth it to open ourselves to heartbreak again. We look in the mirror and see Dickens’ Miss Haversham. Is shame driving your life?

We all need to be loved, held, needed and valued by others. The luckiest of us have friends and family who share our lives and love us. Even then, just like other animals, we thrive when we are with a partner. But how do we find the courage to open our hearts and do the work necessary to find him or her? One step at the time and sometimes by asking someone to help us on our journey.

“No cavities, looks great in here.” I had to wonder what had taken me so long.





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