Not All the Wishing in the World



Woman wishingWhen you meet someone you really want to spend time with, someone with whom you share a love for life, the same vitality and passion, your soul prays silently for it to work out. 


So many things in common, so much joy and a deep appreciation of one another…and a dose of bad timing. He just recently ended “yet another” relationship that didn’t work. Her heart is still broken though she can feel it mending every time they toast to a beautiful weekend. They want it to be right this time, and yet they are terrified that it will end just like the others, and they just can’t stand one more broken heart. And so it begins…


She wants to move closer to him, tell him that she adores him and can see a future full of fun and laughter. She doesn’t dare. Why? Because he has told her already that he isn’t ready for a relationship.  She hears him say it but does she believe it?


He enjoys being with a woman who laughs with him, gives him room to breathe and feels passionate and accepting of his “multitude of imperfections”. What’s not to love?


She enjoys being with a man who is strong, bright, romantic, generous, interesting and with the vitality she loves. He cooks for her, makes her feel like she is the only woman in the world. What’s not to love?


They spend more and more time with one another, share intimate conversations, become open and vulnerable and something happens. The dance begins…he pulls away, she moves closer, he steps back remembering the last time it ended badly. This is like the relationship’s version of  Texas Two-Step and it often ends with a very painful finale.


All the wishing in the world can’t save a relationship when one or both people are not ready to trust themselves much less someone else. Over our lifetime we experience many disappointments when relationships don’t work out. We all come to each other looking like The Velveteen Rabbit and though tattered and torn, in time we can put ourselves back together. 


When you find yourself unable to get past fear or sustain closeness because you aren’t ready for what it takes to make a healthy relationship work, be kind to yourself and your “dance partner”.  Thank each other for all the joy, fun and passion you experienced and then take the journey that will help you heal.  Perhaps the next time you might just  finish the dance with a kiss. 



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