Singing the Carpenters’ Song

flower unfoldingI have been walking around all day singing, “Rainy Days and Mondays Always Get Me Down.” What is it about rainy days that brings us to our knees?

 

I am a sun person, and most of my friends would say a “sunny” one too. But there is something predictable that happens when there is a rainy day. I become my most vulnerable self. I soften and yield to that part of me that later in life has become a precious friend.

 

Today is one of those days. Tears flow and I ache when I think of love lost. It reduces me to a puddle, and it shows me that part of me that doesn’t see the light of day often enough. I love this soft-shelled self, but it wasn’t always true.

 

Before I fell in love with her, I felt downright disdain when I felt as if I needed anyone. I couldn’t stand feeling the strong woman bending in the wind…not breaking, simply bending. I needed to believe that I could do anything alone, for myself…I didn’t/couldn’t need anyone, especially a man to love me.

 

Today, I still cry and for just a moment, it feels strange and unnerving. Then, I feel like a flower unfolding and shedding the pain. I climb in a warm bath and find myself smiling and appreciating those tears. Letting go rather than doing battle with sadness helps it pass, bringing to us a knowing that we are strong with beautiful soft underbellies. How grand!

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