Not to Decide is to Decide

If you haven’t made a lot of mistakes in  your life, then you haven’t lived. Before we have time to say, “Yeah, that’s the truth!”, our chorus has shoved that out of the way, claiming to have brought us back to reality. You see, fear doesn’t want to let us leave the house because it is doing its job which is to keep us safe. Guess what?



I spent a lot of time, both awake and asleep this past week struggling with a big decision in my love life. If you could have crawled into my head and heart, you might have said, “this woman says she helps people find and keep love in their lives?” I was so busy weighing and measuring, making a list of pros and cons, wondering how my friends would feel, looking at every “mistake” I had made in past relationships, and thinking that everyone else but me would be better at it, I forgot to eat. That is never good. Ask my boyfriend about that!


Fear of making mistakes controls our lives. It is as if to make a “bad”one will be the end of the world as we know it and  irreparable damage will be done. What is really behind that terror of making a mistake?

Shame looms out there like the headless horseman. It is as if we will die should that decision or action be less than perfect.


Here is the truth. There are no wrong decisions unless you make them with an intention to harm someone or something. Those merit some thinking, and most likely some counseling. The rest of the decisions, when made carefully and with reasonable amounts of thought and heart, are not the end of the world waiting to happen. Not to make them is to be frozen and not able to fully live your life.


So, take a chance today. Make a decision knowing that you are doing the very best you can to make a good one. If you decide later you wish you had done otherwise, give yourself a big hug like you would a best friend…tell yourself how courageous you were and that you truly did the very best you knew how to do. Then, go treat yourself to a piece of chocolate!!





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